Fear/Change

A few days ago I came across II Timothy 1:7. It reads "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." In these last few days before the start of classes, I found myself dreading this 2-3 year journey.

Part of it was due to realizing that I will be living in Tallahassee for another few years...I'm hard-pressed to find any good that has occurred to me while living here and a change of scenery would do me good. While my personal experience living here shouldn't be a reflection of the city as a whole, I really need to dive into another area. I look back and see how fast my time in undergrad went by and I'm hoping this will progress swiftly and fruitfully.

I had a series of graduate student orientation sessions yesterday and found myself increasingly somber, afraid, and near tears as they progressed. I can't explain why...I kept thinking I don't want to be here, I'm not sure this is the right for me, and Hell, its to late now. The sessions began at noon and were scheduled to end at 6:30 pm. It was four in total, with only one being specific to my degree program and it was to start at 5:30pm.

I was expecting to register for classes in the last session. But it turned out to be something of an info session. I was handed a folder full of forms that needed to be filled out and a list of classes offered. We were prompted to introduce ourselves and tell why we chose the program and who influenced us in doing so. And this...this is where my fears began to alleviate. As the introductions started I found out that I would be working closely with a group of people that chose this program for reasons similar to my own. Among my classmates are a former FOX Studios employees, a hilarious gay guy that reminds me of Perez Hilton but only nicer, a female sports newscaster, and a former USAToday reporter with 25 years experience in the communications business (who I promptly asked to have coffee with me later in the week so that I can may gain helpful tips on succeeding in the world of Communications). After the session ended I felt relieved, refreshed, and no longer afraid and fearful of this endeavor. I realized that I was in the right place and that everything was as it should be. And all I could think about was II Timothy 1:7.