Sankofa

This morning I had the television on “Good Morning America” as I was getting ready for work. I’m a fan of Robin Roberts and would like to sit on a couch and talk about whatever to millions of people just like her. Today was the kickoff of their “Black and White Now” three-day series about the current state of race relations. The first segment consisted of them revisiting the black and white doll experiment famously conducted by Kenneth and Mamie Clark in the 1940s. In the original experiment, 63% of the children (both black and white) chose the white doll as the “nicer” doll, and 44% of the black participants said they looked like the white doll. However, in the experiment conducted recently, “88% percent of our children [black children] happily identify with the dark-skinned doll,” and 47% labeled the white doll as pretty.

Here's a link to the article on the segment
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=7213714&page=1

I was happy to see how the self-image of young black children had changed over the years. Of course you would expect a major switcheroo in views held in the 40s, but for me it was a little more poignant than that. I remember in Pre-K, roughly 19 years ago, racing the other children (boys and girls) to scoop up the white dolls during playtime. The few times that I ended up with the dark-skinned doll I remember being very disappointed that I didn’t get the light-skinned doll…my parents probably would have been disappointed that I was playing with dolls but oh well...that’s a blog for another day. I also remember a few years later---I believe I was seven---asking my cousin “don’t you wish you were white?” To which she responded in all her 11-year-old intelligence that she “was proud to be black, especially after all that Dr. King did.” She handed my ass to me and I’m glad she did in retrospect.

A few years later, one of my uncles gave me a book that served as the catalyst for my interest in black studies. It was entitled African Americans: Voices of Triumph: Perseverance. It was the first book of a three-part series and dealt with the history of blacks…from the ancient African dynasties to the present, how far we’d come, and all that we’d been through. The book was magnificently illustrated and had drawings of beautiful black people of all shades sitting on thrones, conducting meetings, and taking care of business…basically running shit. But there were also photographs of black people closer to the touch with raised trails of flesh across their backs awarded to them for speaking out, attempting to run away, and for defying those who thought themselves entitled to the life of another for mere exchange of coins. And towards the end of the book, there were more photographs...photographs of people that very well could have been my grandparents had the cameras been in different locations…photographs of the struggle, the cause, and the pride.

I credit that particular uncle with my deciding to earn a degree in African American Studies. With the risk of sounding preachy…please take the time to mentor our youths. Some hide the troubles they are unaware of deep in the trenches of their minds. And yes, a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but it is also a terrible thing to fuck up…excuse my language. My Godson happens to be that same uncle’s son, and I’m honored to have the chance to reciprocate the influence over his precious and three-year-old continuously forming mind. God bless him. He’s my little militant. I take Godfather duties very seriously, and I’m determined to not allow his mind to slip into areas of negative self-image. He has a picture of me from my recent commencement activities, and I hope to give him another picture of me in a cap and gown pretty soon. Hmmm…now if I could only bring to the light a certain someone who wants to marry a light-skinned man so that she can have a light-skinned baby…

I think I received good news today...

Today an email popped up from the Office of Financial Aid telling me to check my award amount. I checked and it was a nice lil' peace of change waiting for me that I could use for the summer session...umm but I still haven't heard back from the admission's department. I also haven't gotten my GRE official test scores back, so that could be the hold up. I checked the GRE website to see if there was some way for me to see the scores online, but nope...no online score posting. However they had the nerve to have a "score by phone" option for $12. Umm, yeah...I can wait. According to the website I should receive my scores in 10-15 days via mail from New Jersey. Today is day 11. At any rate, that got my hopes up a little bit today.

Krispy Kreme and some bullshit...

You know…I got up this morning and thought what the hell…I’m on a diet (like always) but I really want some doughnuts from Krispy Kreme (two original glazed and two chocolate to be exact). So, I’m driving down the street in the right lane of a four lane road when all of a sudden this lady from the oncoming lane cuts across the two lanes including mine. Ok, about a year and a half ago a lady with no insurance did the same thing in the same spot...I mean what the hell! So, I brake…and tell her to bring her ass on out her and finish cutting me off…which she promptly did. And guess where she ended up turning…yep, she jumped right in front of me in the drive thru of Krispy Kreme. Keep in mind I was already late for work, and now I had three cars in front me. So, I spent all of 5 minutes waiting and listening to the Strawberry Letter (from the Steve Harvey Morning Show) before I got up to the drive thru speaker. Now I don’t know if this is a sign of things to come for the rest of the day or not, but Krispy Kreme…at 8:00 in the morning…with the “Hot” light on…was out of chocolate glazed doughnuts. Needless to say, I drove off…driving over the curb in the process. This is one day that I hope the admissions committee does not contact me.

I should clarify...

I should clarify that I am not yet a grad student. I fully intended to go to law school this fall, but it didn’t seem realistic in terms of me relocating, finding a job in a new city, finding a place to get a haircut, etc. So, I got a job here in Tallahassee that wanted a long-term commitment (a Godsend considering the job market), and since I don’t like sitting idle when I’m not working (and happen to have a lot of free time since I’m single, with no kids or pets), I decided to pursue a Master’s degree while here in the city.

The art of communication has long interested me and was briefly my major in undergrad before I changed it to English. I also happen to be a bit of a procrastinator; therefore I ended up fulfilling the oral requirement to graduate in my last semester. The communication course rekindled my love of communication and suggested another way I could indulge myself in words and language. I applied two weeks ago to the College of Communication and am waiting to hear back from the admissions committee.

I must say that if I get in it will be nothing short of the hand of God that I will have gotten accepted. I missed the application deadline by 12 days and my GRE scores were less than desirable. I submitted my application and took the GRE less than a week later (after the nice lady helping me with the application process made it clear that I was cutting it hella close). Now, I don’t like making excuses, but I’d spent most of my time preparing for the LSAT, not the GRE. So, say what you want…but the two tests are different! Now the effed up part of this is that I went to the mail box yesterday and guess what was there waiting on me all willy nilly…a freaking GRE prep computer disc with “time sensitive” stamped on it. You damn right, it WAS time sensitive. Now what am I going to use it for? A coaster?

First things first...100 Things About the Grad

1. I am an African American male.
2. I am 23 years old.
3. I do not have any children.
4. Black is my favorite color.
5. I graduated from Florida State University with a B.A. in English and African American Studies.
6. I enjoy being in the company of great people.
7. I am beginning to recognize myself as a friend.
8. My favorite magazines are Essence, Vibe, and O Magazine.
9. I love my mom and dad.
10. I only have a few close friends.
11. I am 5’10 and ¾.
12. I have a younger sister.
13. I enjoy taking trips and going on vacation (although I don’t get the chance to do so that often).
14. I love music (mostly R & B, Jazz, Gospel, and Neo Soul).
15. I am most proud of my degree. I went through a lot to get it and I deserve it.
16. I want to work for CNN.
17. I currently live in Tallahassee, Fl.
18. I started my blog in March 2009
19. I love to read books mainly autobiographies, self-help, spiritual, and black literature.
20. I enjoy a glass of wine every now and then.
21. I don’t like liars and fake people.
22. I look forward to being in a meaningful and stable relationship with a man.
23. I used to be severely depressed.
24. I am an advocate for therapy.
25. I like cooking, just not everyday.
26. I am a Christian.
27. My favorite film is “The Color Purple.”
28. I am deathly afraid of snakes.
29. I do not have any pets.
30. I used to work as a knife salesman.
31. I found out quickly that I am not a salesperson.
32. I enjoy card games (Spades, Uno, Tonk, and Phase Ten).
33. I am a kind-hearted, down-to-earth, intimate person.
34. I am very opinionated.
35. I find it easy to admit when I am wrong.
36. I try to take naps during my lunch break.
37. I don’t go to church as often as I should.
38. I have one Godson.
39. I don’t see children in my future.
40. I have never been arrested.
41. I have never gotten a speeding ticket (knock on wood).
42. I am right-handed.
43. I use to work for a national hotel chain (I quit after two days).
44. I can go no longer than two weeks without a haircut.
45. I have three years of experience in the hospitality industry but I refuse to kiss ass.
46. I love a good night’s rest.
47. I am becoming more financially literate.
48. I wish I enjoyed writing.
49. I prefer the winter season.
50. I am not an outdoors type of person.
51. I have never been to a club.
52. I am gay and sometimes forget it.
53. I am planning on buying a gun within the year.
54. I am a great listener.
55. I am inspired by my aunt. She got her MBA while dealing with an illness, twin boys, and an infant.
56. My favorite cousin is my hero and he also suggested the name of this blog. Shout out to the event planner extraordinaire of Atlanta, Ga.
57. I am becoming more confident with each day.
58. I am intrigued by the art of communication.
59. I think I inherited a bulk of my mother’s personality. She’s a trip, lol.
60. I have never been in a romantic relationship.
61. If I could go back to any time period, it would have to my college days.
62. I am a health fanatic. Take care of yourselves! You only have this one body.
63. I have an odd sense of humor.
64. I am not on the DL but I’m not out either.
65. I am honest.
66. I’ve had the same cell phone number for almost five years and am thinking about changing it.
67. I will be getting my Master’s in Media and Communication Studies.
68. I want to live in Atlanta, GA.
69. I love natural and organic products.
70. My favorite dessert is chocolate. (Plain and simple or as an adjective to a dish.)
71. I hate to see women get hurt.
72. My happiness is hard-earned.
73. I handle grief very well.
74. I can’t stand a dirty bathroom.
75. I don’t like people who ridicule others.
76. I am a huge fan of Ugly Betty, Grey’s Anatomy, and Desperate Housewives.
77. Teenage celebrity crush: Monica.
78. I feel as if I squandered the chance at potentially great relationships in the past but am at peace with things as they are.
79. I have the hardest time getting up with the alarm clock.
80. I got my job during a hiring freeze. God is good.
81. I love acting (watching, learning techniques, discussing an actor’s choice).
82. I love everything awards (Oscar, Grammy, Tony, Emmy).
83. I would like to take of photography as a hobby.
84. I love hard, and have to be careful with that.
85. I am not a huge sport fan, but I like going to live sports events.
86. I play tennis, but am not “good.” I’d prefer hitting the balls, rather than playing the game.
87. When I was a little boy I wanted to be a scientist.
88. I am an Aquarius.
89. My ten year high school reunion will be in 2014.
90. I majored in English because I wanted to go to law school (and still do).
91. I majored in African American Studies because I wanted to.
92. I have had three cars.
93. I live alone and love it.
94. I am quiet, not weak.
95. I like yoga.
96. I have only gotten drunk twice. I don’t understand people who get drunk on purpose. Anyone care to explain?
97. I wish I could give my younger self a hug.
98. I like to sing, but will admit I’m not the best.
99. I like plays but have only written one.
100. I love me.