Thursday, April 14, 2011

Long time, no write

Oh wow...it's been months since I posted something....my bad lol. Life has been very interesting and I've been very productive. But let me take a minute and go back to the original premise of this blog...grad school.

I graduate with my Master's in 3 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days. I'm at the tail end of the spring semester with one week of class left and one week of finals. I will be free at 9:15 pm, April 26th lol. Then I'll have the summer to work, apply for jobs, and finish school.

I have enjoyed delving into Communications and learning all that have. As a matter of fact, I wish there were time to learn more...especially in Interpersonal Communication, Body Language, and Gender Communication. I'll probably take a few college courses here and there when things settle down after graduation.

Right now, I plan on moving to Atlanta after graduation but that may change. I plan on attending an acting conservatory when I get there. Acting has always been a passion of mine but logic worked against me when deciding on majors in college lol. I don't have to make it big; I believe I'll be content with just learning and perhaps a local play here and there.

With all that said, grad school has been an experience. I'm not going to attach any emotions too it right now. But it has been interesting and taxing.

That's all for now...and I'll post later.


Oh...I host a radio show every Saturday night at 11pm called Some of This, Some of That. Check it out live or in the archives at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/blacktie.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Pure Frustration

Some odd is going on and I'm not totally certain I know what it is. I know the guy I've been dealing with for over a year is part of it, but he's not the sole reason. Don't get me wrong, matters of the heart can drive you insane but I noticed I've gotten off-kilter with the other relationships in my life...specifically with my family and friends.

First, my patience is growing increasingly thin with my grandmother. God, the Father, knows I love her with every fiber of my being, but she's grown content with playing the victim...even when she's not deserving of that position. Yes, I've lost two uncles in the past two years...her sons...and I yes I don't know how it is to lose a child, but she refuses to fight for her happiness and brings down my mood every time I talk to her. It seems like she tries to guilt me into having compassion for her. But here's the thing...I already have a deep well of compassion sitting in my chest for her. But that's been her shtick for...ever, maybe? Tears and guilt have been her weapons of choice and I'm growing weary.

Friends are a little different. Well, really it's only one that I'm concerned about and concern might be the wrong word. But I don't think it's going to last. This friend irks me and plays the victim role...that's it! I'm growing effing tired of victims. Granted sometimes shit happens and we naturally feel victimized but damn...it seems like the people around me are cranking it up and my reservoir of concern is drying up and it's frustrating me.

I've been feeling like this for some time now...maybe a 3 or 4 months, but today I think I found my path out of this rut. A few years ago when I was nursing a broken heart and clawing my way out of a depressed state, I read "Lessons in Living" by Susan L. Taylor. The book began to change my life and way of thinking and just reading the words of Ms. Taylor comforted me. She wrote with understanding and introduced me to the God I was meant to find. Somehow I let the lessons I learned slip away and lost my spiritual groundedness. Thank God, I cracked the book open again today.

Monday, July 19, 2010

New York...Part 4...The End

When I got to the hotel room I got ready for bed. Even though I'd had had an amazing trip...I felt some relative of sadness hanging around. It was depression...and it wasn't entirely sadness. But something was there. I thought it was perhaps me feeling as if I'd betrayed my friend by going to NY alone...but no..that wasn't it...the trip had been an assertion of my independence, a good thing. And then I pieced it together. I was missing my uncle. He was my mother's baby brother and her favorite sibling. He loved me and I adored him...as did the rest of the family. I knew he would have been so proud of me to see me fly to the opposite end of the country alone and take on NY with unassuming courage. But he'd died...passed...and gone on. I got in bed, turned off the television, watched the sky from the 17th floor, and drifted off into dreamland.

....

I got to the hotel and went to the top floor to the lounge. Fela/Sahr was performing tonight. I found a seat near a corner in the front and sat down. Fela came over and sat beside me. "I'm glad you could make it man. We're going to have a good time tonight. I want you to enjoy yourself, get up and dance...have fun," he said. "Alright, I will...I'm ready," I said. He got up and went to the front of the lounge and began to play. The music engulfed the room...everyone moved, swayed, danced. I sat in the chair... which was now a couch...and took it all in...grooving to the sounds of the session. I looked to my left...and there was my uncle. "I'm happy you made the trip. I'm proud of you," he said. Then a sad look crept onto his face. "What's wrong with you man?" I asked as I put my arm around his shoulder. "I don't want you to see me like this," he said. He started to thin. I placed a gold key on his chest. He got thinner. I looked away. I knew if I looked his way he'd be a pile bones...or ashes. But I looked again...and he was thinner. He got up and walked out the lounge. A few minutes passed. I got up and left. I went to the lobby to tell my mom that I'd seen my uncle. She was working behind a glass booth and couldn't hear me. So I used a keyboard to type to her on a screen that I'd see her when she got home and that I was going to run home. I left the hotel and started running. I noticed a short, white man with stringy gray hair was behind me. Then I noticed he was chasing me. I turned around and started running backward...facing him. He trip and fell face down. I stopped running. He didn't move. I felt I should use this advantage to run but I didn't. Then I realized. He was "fear" incarnated. He didn't move. I turned around and walked away. Then I woke up.
....

I lay in bed, still. Marveling at the dream I'd just had. Looked at the clock...3:14 am. I lay there for about 5 minutes before I realized I hadn't moved. When I found my hands I realized they'd been hold onto the opposite arm. I'd hugged myself in my sleep...and my uncle had embraced me.

Monday, July 12, 2010

New York...Part 3

I started heading toward the Eugene O'Neil theater where "Fela!" was playing to pick up my ticket from the box office when I got a text from my friend Al. He, coincidentally, was in the city visiting family and friends. "I'm in front of 'The Lion King,'" the text read. "Cool. I just passed you. Coming back." I turned around and headed back to a familiar face.
....

Al is a classically trained opera singer with a Master's from Julliard. As he'd previously lived in the city, he acted as my tour guide for the next 3 hours. We walked from the theater district to the Upper Westside of Manhattan to BBQs on 74th Street (I think that's where it is...could be off by a few numbers) for a late lunch. On the way there he pointed out Julliard, his old dorm room, Carnegie Hall, and the Metropolitan Opera House, where he'd performed before. We conversed, joked, ate, walked, laughed, and walked some more until it was time for my show to start. I waked him to the subway entrance on 42th street and headed to experience "Fela!"

....


I walked inside the theater and was amazed to see that it had been transformed into a nightclub...The Shrine to be exact...Fela Kuti's club. I went to my seat...second row mezzanine (sweet!)...and sat for a moment...then decided that I wanted to some souvenirs. I went downstairs to the souvenir booth and bought the cast album, two keychains, and a tote bag (the bag and one of the key chains for the friend that couldn't make the trip but who wanted to see "Fela!"). I took my goodies back to my seat and waited for the show to start.

....

8 o'clock rolled around and the show didn't seem to have started...in the traditional sense. But the musical...a musical like none other...wasn't traditional. A smooth chocolate brother with sunglasses, an unbutton beige shirt exposing his dedicated chest and stomach, and fitted brown slacks grooved his way to the middle of the stage to the sound of the band...he cut a step...rotated his knee...swiveled his hips...saluted the audience...yeah...he was smooth. Another brother joined him on stage...dressed in clothes that seem melted on his frame...chile....yes. Then "the Queens" danced out on stage...popping, sashaying, enticing the crowd with their beautiful brown bodies barely covered in fibers struggling to stay in place and reserve their dignity.

Then Sahr Ngaujah (Fela) made his way to the stage. As soon as he hit the stage you felt his energy. He pulled us out our seats and made us dance to the sounds of the bands and sing "Original! No artificiality!" Then he got into the show.

....

The musical is written as if the audience is attending the club...the Shrine...for Fela's last performance. The country has gotten too hostile and dangerous for Fela and he's leaving the next day. It's part history lesson, part concert, but fully amazing. Tony-winner Lillias White portrays Fela's mother Funmilayo Anikulapo-Kuti and is nominated for her role in the musical. But honestly, she won't win. She's rarely on stage, but delivers a powerhouse vocal performance whenever she is. But that won't win her a second Tony.

She was last to exit the stage door, and was kind enough to sign my Playbill and take a picture with me.

The actress that should have been nominated is Saycon Sengbloh. She was immensely sensual as Sandra Izsadore, Fela's love interest. Her voice was like amber coating a stone...clear, smooth, intentional, precise. And she looks as beautiful as she sounds.

But the true star, of course, is Sahr. He oozed passion, conviction, power, sex, and sensuality as Fela. Point blank...when he is on stage you want some of him...or what he has. It is a true testament to his acting abilities because when he exited the stage door to sign my Playbill and take pictures he didn't display any of those qualities. He's was rather unassuming and even-tempered. (However, I guess you can say that's expected. The man is tired after dripping all the swear onstage. lol. He actually runs and workouts BEFORE each performance. So, his demure persona should be expected.) He should win the Tony and would be a deserving winner.


After I got my Playbill signed by the cast and took pictures I hailed a cab and called it a night.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

New York...Part 2

I woke up Saturday morning and lay in bed for about 30-35 minutes watching NY's local news before I managed to pull myself out of bed. I felt a bit of apprehension in my gut as I moved about getting dressed...but again...it was nothing to it but to do it. I'd planned everything out before I embarked on the trip and now it was time to execute. So I finished getting dressed, grabbed my bag, went downstairs hailed a cab and headed to TKTS in Times Square.
....

When the driver dropped me off at/in Times Square I could only think "my this feels like a flea market." LOL...why I'm not sure. But that's what it felt like...people bustling about, words flowing (nice ones and bad ones), deals being offered...just everything. I saw the "red stairs" that the ticket discount center was located under and as I began walking over there had my eye caught by this mocha colored, robust woman. "No...it couldn't be...wait is it...it is!." It was Emmy-winning and Tony-nominated actress S. Epatha Merkerson of "Lackakawanna Blues" and "Law & Order." It was a Saturday morning and she wasn't headed in my direction so I didn't approach her. I thought it to be a neat occurrence and continued on to the booth.

....
I got in line (which moved relatively fast) chatted with my OPA (over-protective aunt) for a few minutes. As the line moved and my direction changed I saw the Blue Fin. "Huh," I thought "there's the Blue Fin. Yummy Mummy (has anyone ever said that aloud...go ahead and try it...I did...sounds funny huh lol) suggested that in a thread I created. I'll go there for brunch." By now, I'd made it to the window to purchase my ticket. With plans to go to a Saturday matinee I had to be cognizant that the stars of whatever show I wanted to see might not be in attendance. I'm no working Broadway actor, but I can only imagine that 8 shows a week is a grueling schedule when I was thoroughly exhausted after the previous day and show, and the prospect of a 2 o'clock and 8 o'clock only elevated the perceive fatigue. Although it would have been nice to not have to worry about the star being absent for the Saturday matinee, it is understood. Therefore I chose "Memphis" (starring Tony-nominated actress Montego Glover) to fill in the matinee slot on my schedule (I wanted to Sahr Ngaujah of "Fela!" and figured he would perform on a Saturday night). The ticket was discounted at 50% and again I scored a mezzanine seat (how great is that!).
....

After I got my ticket I headed over to Blue Fin and passed some of the most beautiful plus-size black women on the way to my table. They were probably in there mid-30s and were not KING Magazine sexy, gorgeous...but they were beautiful and reminded me of home. I bet they have fine husbands. But anyway, the host took me to table and placed a menu down for me. I was a little bummed out that breakfast was still being served because it felt like lunch time...which was about 30 mins away. Nevertheless, I ordered orange juice, french toast, and a side of eggs. It was delicious. Very filling...so much that I decided to walk from Times Square back to my hotel on 39th Street...which I didn't. I finished brunch, paid, left, hailed a cab, went back to my hotel, showered, got dressed, hailed another cab, and headed back to the theater district to see "Memphis."
....

As I stood in line to see "Memphis" I phoned my aunt. I'd spoken to her every week since my uncle passed last June and had gotten to know her more intimately than ever. She said the kids had been ecstatic to find out that I'd met "Wilhelmina" and that she was glad I was having a great time. I told her I felt like a teenager who's was trying to assert his independence but was still being told he wasn't ready or old enough or capable enough...as insinuated by my worrisome OPA and joking mother. "Yeah, yeah, you are old enough and I'm glad you went by yourself. This is a great experience for you. You're young and life is too short for you to be sitting around doing nothing," she said. "Yeah, I know," I said, "I think I'm going to make this an annual thing. You know...a Broadway trip...three shows over the course of a weekend. No sightseeing or anything...just immerse myself in the theater experience." "Okay, now...you do that. Well, I know your show's about to start. Enjoy yourself and I'll talk to you next week. I love you boy." I told her I loved her too, smiled, and went inside.

....

As I'd anticipated, Montego Glover (the female lead, star, and Tony-nominated actress) was absent. I didn't know it at the time but she'd been invited to sing "Colored Woman" (from "Memphis") for the First Lady, who'd recently taken her daughters to see the show. (The performance was a part of "America Celebrates July 4th at Ford's Theatre" to be broadcast on July 2.) The understudy, Dan'yelle Williamson, was to perform the part.

....

The musical is a fictional piece about a white DJ who was first to play black music on white radio stations in Memphis. Chad Kimball played the DJ and is nominated for a Tony, but won't win, in my opinion. He was good, great voice, but he won't win. I can't say when it comes to Montego Glover as I didn't see her. I would have liked to have met and congratulated her at the stage door, as she and I are alums of Florida State University, but alas, it didn't happen. Big Daddy, played by James Monroe Iglehart, was very entertaining. He's about 6'3, 280lbs, and was singing and doing toe touches and cartwheels...truly a sight to be seen lol. I bought the cast album during intermission. The show emphasizes change (see why First Lady went?) and is the quintessential musical...moving set pieces, clothes being changed on stage, props moving about the stage...great visual effects. Throughout the show, however, I couldn't keep my mind off my uncle...he died June 29th and I'm still in awe of it all and speaking to his wife had me closer to the emotional side of my persona than usual. I wanted him to see me there...alone...and be proud.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

New York...Part 1

I recently went to New York for a Broadway trip. Here's part one...

I got to the hotel around 430...first show, "Sondheim on Sondheim" was to start at 8pm. I sat on the bed for a minute, realized where I was and for a moment had an "oh shit..." moment...lol. I had directions to the theater but the hard part came with putting one foot in front of the other and venturing out alone. My overprotective aunt called at this moment (the same one who was going to get her gun and drive to the city where I had my car stopped...for what I still don't know) and of course I let her know that everything was fine and that I was getting some rest. By the time I hung up with her I figured it was time to make a move...but I still didn't have a ticket. I had directions to TKTS (the discount ticket booth) but didn't think I had time to walk there (it was about 6). So I used a promo code I had and called the theater's box office and scored a front from mezzanine seat...great!. Now I just had to get there. I left the hotel, and went and stood outside to try and hail a cab. I had one within three minutes...didn't find it hard at all...gave the driver my directions...and off I went.

.....

I arrived at the theater around 6:45 and picked up my ticket at the box office. However the theater didn't open until 7:30. So, what was a guy to do? I stood outside the theater/Studio 54 for a minute, looked to my left, and saw him...


.....

I looked to the left and saw Norm Lewis emerging from a sea of people...fitting as he'd played King Triton in "The Little Mermaid" on Broadway. He was walking toward me but ducked into the side entrance and never made it to the entrance. "That's fine," I thought, "I'll see you soon enough...I have a ticket." (Quite frankly, he's my dream guy...older, built, handsome, talented, accomplished, sexy...I had another dream guy that was number 1 on the list but have completely forgotten who he is since I saw Norm, lol...how horrible.) So I walked around the block to waste some time...only the block because I didn't want to get lost (I have horrible sense of direction...but then most men do). I passed by the Ed Sullivan Theater where David Letterman's show is taped. Continued on around to 53rd Street (spotted the stage door), and eventually ended up back at the entrance. I noticed a Subway nearby, so I dropped in for a drink and cookie. When I finished the theater was opening. I got in line and went inside. The theater had a Tony award on display so that was nice to see up close. Found my seat and waited for the show to begin.
....

The show began promptly at 8. The supporting players entered stage first, singing songs written by Tony winning composer and legend Stephen Sondheim. Then Norm entered stage...don't know what he was singing...I just was fixated on him. Tom Wopat entered next...didn't pay much attention to him. Then grand diva, Vanessa Williams, slinked onto stage singing lyrics from the musical "Into the Woods." Gorgeous and vocally capable in person...the crowd applauded when she entered. But they went crazy when beloved stage actress Barbara Cook entered...I wasn't familiar with her beyond the slight research I'd done in preparation for the show, therefore her presence didn't affect me much.
......

The show was rather interesting and a great way to start the experience. Sondheim appeared on plasma screens and talked about he conceived songs he'd written. Then the players would perform them. This, however, was not the conventional musical...meaning the players didn't portray fully realized characters...but more insinuated the meaning of the songs with slight characterizations.

Here's one of V. Williams' performance...her striptease :eyebrow:



Barbra Cook, at 82 years old (and performing 8 shows a week), was splendid. She performed her signature tune "In Buddy's Eyes," and Sondheim's biggest hit "Send In the Clowns," also being performed by Catherine Zeta-Jones in a nearby theater...her version has nothing on Cook's, which has nothing on Judi Dench's...but I digress.

Norm Lewis and Ms. Williams had my attention and made the show a great experience.

....

Once the show ended I headed to the stage door for the Broadway ritual of meeting the cast and getting autographs...and pictures if they allowed. But the thing is...you never know who will exit the stage door (bigger stars usually don't). The young players exited, followed by Tom Wopat. They all signed my Playbill. This white chick next to me wanted me to take a picture with Tom Wopat, but I'm not a fan of his like that...and I didn't watch "Dukes of Hazzard." So anyway...

Next, my husband came out...Norm Lewis. I got an autograph.


Chile...he put his arm around me in that pic so I slipped mine around him too :tied:I have a thing for arms...my fetish. Then after the picture he said, "You could be my son!" My heart sank...to me that meant he was straight...but then he said, "If I had one! Am I your dad?" He laughed and everyone around laughed too. I don't see a resemblance but oh well..I kept my dirty thoughts to myself.

Google "Norm Lewis" and "King Triton" and you'll see what I mean. He also has a nipple piercing...don't ask me how I know :flirt:
....

Barbara Cook came out next. Got her autograph. Very nice lady. I told her this was my first Broadway trip and she was quite surprised. Inquired about where I was from, told me to have a good time, etc. I thought she spent too much time talking to me. Other people wanted her picture and autograph. But she was very patient and personable and signed all autographs and took pictures. I didn't want one with her...but kinda regret that I didn't get a picture with a legend...even if I knew of her or not.
.....

Then...Ms. Williams came out. She was stunning in person, nice enough, but rather aloof...but still nice and polite. She signed all the autographs and took pictures.


I told her the "Back in Her Place" episode of 'Ugly Betty' is the sample she should use for her Emmy submission. (She had a poll on her website, but the episode with her brother in drag came in first. But this episode showcases her best acting and range.) Then she left, and I headed back to the hotel. Fully satisfied with the trip if it had ended at that moment.